Whether you’ve got some suspicions about your partner’s fidelity or just a little curious, take this quiz to find out if your partner could be having an affair.
1. When you first started dating your boyfriend’s Blackberry phonebook was full of:
a. A few buddies, a few exes, and lots of random girls.
b. His buddies, his parents, and you.
c. His buddies, his parents, you…and a few random girls.
2. You’ve been talking all week about the really big, really important meeting you have at work on Friday afternoon, when you return home that evening he:
a. Isn’t even home. There is a note on the table saying he went for a few drinks with his buddies.
b. Immediately rushes in to ask how the meeting went.
c. Doesn’t say anything but as soon as you mention it he takes a genuine interest in hearing about how it went.
3. His phone rings during a date and you get a glimpse of an unfamiliar number, he:
a. Doesn’t make eye contact and takes the phone into the other room to take the call.
b. Answers it and starts chatting away right next to you.
c. Ignores it.
4. You’re out at a bar and he sees his best friend’s girl with another guy, he:
a. Ignores it and when you question him he says it is none of his business.
b. Pulls out his phone, takes a pic, sends it to his buddy, and then calls him right away.
c. Sends his friend a text telling him he just saw a girl who looks exactly like his girlfriend at the bar with another dude. From there he leaves the problem up to him.
5. You and your man sit down to have that serious talk about past relationships, his naughty little secret is:
a. That he cheated on his ex…a few times…but that “it was no big deal really”
b. That he has fantasized about other girls while in bed with his exes…but who hasn’t right?
c. That he cheated on his ex once but was so wracked with guilt he came clean and could never see himself doing it again.
6. A few months back you suggested that maybe your boyfriend should take up a new hobby. What did he do?
a. Nothing. But he does seem to be taking a lot more late night meetings at work.
b. Signed himself up for cooking classes so that he could finally make you a romantic dinner once and a while.
c. Bought a membership to the city’s most exclusive gym and all of a sudden has the body of a Greek god.
7. Your sex life…
a. Is virtually non-existent
b. Is just as great as it always was.
c. Has its ups and downs. But that happens to every couple after a while…right?
Mostly A’s: He’s probably cheating
The very fact that you are doing this test is the first clue that you may have some suspicions about your partners fidelity, says Al Duncan, owner of the confidential investigation company Toronto PI. “What I always tell clients seeking help is that no one knows the individual party better then the client themselves – if a client has enough suspicion and worry that it drives them to the point where they call out for help, then usually their gut instinct is right”. Withdrawal of sexual activity, mysterious phone calls, and an increase in work meetings or late night activities are all signs that could mean your suspicions are correct. Your best bet is to sit your man down for a chat and explain all the changes you’ve noticed and give him a chance to explain. He may come clean and he may not. Either way you will have to decide if you will ever be able to trust him enough to live with what he may or may not have done.
Mostly B’s: He’s probably not cheating
He is so into you that he wouldn’t give a second look to a full truckload of Hooters girls. The guy who remembers things that are important to you and who is eager to make an effort to make you as happy as you make him is a guy who has no interest in being with anyone but the lovely lady by his side (that’s you!)
Mostly C’s: He could be cheating
This guy is a tricky one. This is the guy who likes to flirt, the guy who likes to go to the gym as much as he likes to admire his physique in the mirror, the guy who’s cheated before but swears he could never do it again. Basically, this is the guy that you haven’t trusted since day one. It is here that you have to decipher whether or not your man is actually acting suspiciously or whether you are just taking his behaviors and blowing them out of proportion because of your insecurities. Your best bet here is to be straight out and let him know that you are having issues trusting him and his behaviors. Chances are that if he’s not cheating he’ll make the efforts to change his ways. Most important here is to give him the benefit of the doubt. And if you can’t, then it is time to find yourself a new man….with a clean slate.
Al Duncan is a retired Detective Sergeant and was one of the longest serving members of the Toronto Police Service Internal Affairs Unit. His company Toronto PI offers a reliable and completely confidential service to members of the general public and corporate law offices in the areas of surveillance, missing persons, domestic and child custody matters, computer forensics, civil and criminal investigations. For more information visit www.torontopi.com or email info@torontopi.com